Thursday, February 13, 2014

They say your family are the ones who will never abandon you when everyone else does
But sometimes, just sometimes, I feel so abandoned. Not the smartest, most outstanding in the family, the trouble maker & the most disobedient. Even when ranting about how tiring work is, all I get is criticism about my laziness and how spoilt I am. Even when I make the effort to wake up at 5.30 I get critiqued about my punctuality. Even when I watch tv after I get home feeling dead beat they nag at me for not helping out with household chores & lazing around. 
Yeah I know everyone is busy, but so am I ok? So everyone can be stressed out but not me? So everyone's work is challenging except mine? You really think I get paid for doing nothing huh. If only you knew how I'm doing at work, the dread, the silent sounds of keyboard tappings and how afraid I am to disappoint the others and how afraid I am to make mistakes. How everytime the phone rings I hope it's not for me. How I'm so afraid to be myself because I'll definitely be too childish for the adults. How I can only be envious of other friends who can actually go for lunch, simply lunch, with their colleagues for i have no one to go with. 

One day, maybe one day, you should try being in my shoes

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