B O R I N G

hol·i·day

  [hol-i-dey]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a day fixed by law or custom on which ordinary business issuspended in commemoration of some event or in honor of someperson.

2.

any day of exemption from work ( distinguished from working day ).

3.

a time or period of exemption from any requirement, duty,assessment, etc.: New businesses may be granted a one-year taxholiday.

4.

a religious feast day; holy day, especially any of several usuallycommemorative holy days observed in Judaism.

5.

Sometimes, holidays. Chiefly British . a period of cessation fromwork or one of recreation; vacation.

My life is boring. Heck, i am boring.

dictionary's definition of holiday VS my definition of holiday - which includes completing all holiday homework & projects (I TRY), revising for block tests (MAJOR PAIN IN THE BIG FAT ASS), & catching up with my girls/ friends/ spending quality time with family & BF of course :-) so far all i have been doing is just homework, & meeting up with some JC friends only. Plus our holiday schedules are so hectic its so difficult to meet up & ive yet to watch new moon yet ):

 So mon is the day that swa left sobz, then met up with all the instashop peeps & SY came over to make card. Stupid, ive been buying on impulsive & pics are really deceiving i should have known. Freak. Now, trying to sell off all the stuffs ive bought on impulse is such a tough task i swear. I used to have so many customers, what happened? )-: 

Tues & wed had guitar prac which was boring/ somewhat tough as hell. Though wed got to spend quality time with deb, converse warehouse sale & got a pair of everlast flats for $10 HAHAHA freaking worth it. then lunch/ dessert & dinner with deb & piano too! went over to deb's place hahahaha fruits was good & did math, such a turn off.

Thurs & fri - homework/ nap/ nothing to do at home day! Finally completed 'Queen in hyun's man'! A really touching drama serial i swear, totally recommend it to everyone woohoo! But in my opinion the first half of the show was meh, then at the back, so many twists to the story that just keeps people at the edge of their seats, yearning for more. & seeing how cute they are together heheh. <3 sho sweetz. 

Without You

very very ugly pics of us HAHAHAHAHA freak why cant we take nice photos like other couples LOLOLOLOLOLOL. (literally laughing to the lappy)

anyway im the sweetest girlf ever, woke up @ 5am to send the boy to school then home to sleep and be a lonelygirl95. Feeling really weird that im not getting text messages and all. BOO ):

yay gotten through 2 days, 3 days left! Guitar was really tough today, didnt have any breaks today like we normally do hehe slacker section 1. more practices to come, like tmr. Not looking forward.... but on the other hand, gonna meetup with debz so thats the only happy thing tmr i guess. Guitar & piano on the same day, not something to be happy about. Ok gotta run errands & start work soon ;-( TALK TO ME EVERYBODY. Relief some loneliness in me. Everybody stops replying my texts, SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?! ): at this point of time youre doing this to moi?!?!?!?! me is sadzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Its the last week of school!!!!! :-)

swa come & pick me up from school on monday sorta and we caught "pitch perfect" @ amk hub! the movie was so so so so darn good.

my few favs from the movie heheh. been replaying them like mad.
Mon my class also played ball games, volleyball, basketball & most importantly captains ball during our 3 hr break. Yay it was really fun woohoo but i got aches everywhere. ):

Tues was a really boring day, school, then math peer tutoring which was unfruitful for me, then guitar till 7.30 which was also boring argh. Thankfully deb came to stay over at my place, made my day. ;-) we chatted till 2.40am what on earth were we talking about........... we played guitar & sang and all too then my guitar string broke, damn. it was really really fun because its the first time that someone slept over at my house haha!

Wed was the sand castle building thing at ecp which aimed at character building/ leadership or what not thingy. it was freaking tiring and the sun was being a bitch. but we ended with a boom, WE WON!!!! LOLOLOLOL it was really unexpected hahahaha. Our theme was "into the infinity" , and our sandcastle was not extravagant but the details were exquisite and on top of the flight of mini stairs we built was an infinity sign made of seashells because the end of hard work is infinite beauty. get it???? Its so pretty really hehehehehe.

basically the idea was a staircase to symbolise the journey in life, facing many obstacles, our pitholes, volcano and hills, and lastly climbing the final flight of stairs to infinite beauty. <3 love love love. I swear it was a really tough job, the water pails were really heavy, the sand kept crumbling and we had to add loads of water to keep it stable. the sculptures were hard to carve and everyone had to play a part which we all did, i guess thats why we won. I mean there are tons of other prettier sculptures definitely, but we were the super hardcore one. All hail 33/12!!!! 

After all the sweat, we went for lunch at ecp hawker which was really good!!! we ate zhu cha as a class, kinda. Then left for my house. Wanted to swim but it was raining heavily. overall the day was super duper exhausting and i slept at 7+, it was supposed to be a nap but ohwell, woke up at 7+ as well. 

Guitar today................................................................ i dont know what to feel. Love playing the guitar and jamming with my friends but not as a restrictive cca. 

Before i get to work, i shall do a mini pep talk for myself.

Well, i got 35 rank points for promos which is really pretty bad considering the fact that my peers are doing quite well. ):
have to buck up. I know i said it millions of times but i didnt mean it when i say it or my motivation only lasted me for days. But now, things are different. I really wanna do well, & i have to.

The worst thing is im really stressed out & my self esteem is underground. Promo results aint helping & people around me effortlessly doing ok or better than me just serves to escalate my anxiety. Plus theres block test in the beginning of J2 & im going overseas from 7-23 dec. How the f am i supposed to study like that?! Im going to die and nobody understands. To my peers seeing my chionging my work now, im not a nerd & neither do i want to chiong everything and sacrifice my playing time. But i dont have a choice you see, i really dont.

After the long break from promos, im so not used to the lectures and workload of a JC kid starting again.
This is so bad, kept dozing off during geog and blah.
As for promos, I managed to pass everything except for Math, but its like i brushed passed the gates of hell. All my grades are D & E, its really bad, almost no improvement from promos...... Hmm gotta really work harder.

Some nights

tonight is the night that i actually get to enjoy life :-)
besides tmr's dreadful arrival, (promo results) , im almost worry free!
So pw ended yesterday, and its deepavali today! TIME NEEDS TO SLOW DOWN.

Spent the WHOLE ENTIRE WEEK with my pw groupies <3 lots of lurve.
Mon & Tues, had school and last dash of presentation and practice.
Wed, went over to debi's , it was like a mini party, sushi, pell fresh fruit juice, marshmallows & ate the best chips ever, & debi made ramen (actually pao mian) but was pretty well done good job debz. Slacked alot, played guitar & did a little touch up on slides & left the rest to the pro - lihui! :-)

Thurs went back to school to practice OP, headed to AMK hub for lunch, had kopitiam but was gooooood! & koi too woohoo. The main purpose of going to school was to meet Ms D for advice but nah, didnt get to meet her in the end due to her busy schedule, felt so cheated but ohwells.

Fri headed to my place for a swim in the morning!! :-) IT WAS FUN!!! tried out the aqua gym for the first time, nothing much but ya nice to look at hahaha. We even went to the sauna! Ihope i lost some weight today hahahah where got so fast take effect but i could always live in denial right? & i was the worst swimmer amongst them so ARGH who cares. ok actually i care........... booooooooo why so sad i cant swim ): ok ya then we also practiced OP in the pool without lihui cause her eye was infected(?) some oil gland thing that has a medical name that i forgot.......  It was a fun day at my place, (maybe its cause its my place!!! hehe) snacked, guitared, practiced OP, more touching up on slides, and debz & rica ate dinner at my place, awkwardly with sis & mason HAHAHAHA. always so awkward. I realised they always stay up the latest, like the day before WR submission, and we get to bond hehe, to mingyuan & lihui, who tell you all stay so far!!!!

Sat went to school to meet Ms D finally, and got to present in front of her & have her picking at all our littlest  and smallest mistakes to ensure a perfect presentation. We kept swaying during the practice presentation, i think its all because of swimming yesterday we keep feeling the wave motion sweeping us off our feet HAHAHA. After the boring stuffs, went over to Lihui's for a buffet that her mama catered! It was a family gathering but sweet Lihui invited us over! & of course most of us happily agreed to the free food invitation hehehe. It was erica's birthday!! Didnt get to have a big celebration for her, just cake & more OP. Got to meet swa and ate kopitiam i think!

Sun its the 11th!!! But didnt get to meet swa to celebrate ): Went over to Yuan's instead to make final changes to our slides and practices as well! everyone was really tired after our good lunch at Buddy Hoagies, it was Lihui's birthday so we bought her a cake as well heheh. after everything, chionged home to start on my I&R because i sucked & Ms D only sent me that morning i wanted to kill her so bad. Spent my 11 hardcore doing pw stuff its so horrible.

Mon - the day of reckoning!!!! But ended up well. I did not refer to the slides at all & i did my best for intonation & emphasis! It wasnt what i expected, it was surprising alright hehehehe. Really really thankful for that. & because of my awesome groupies, i think we all did out best & will make it through! Q&A was pretty tough though, they asked questions that we never did prepare and we had to freestyle our way through. I really hope it'll be good enough..... *cross fingers* After we freaking ended OP like seriously END, we headed to eat pepper lunch, although i dont like it, but for them, i went ahead with eating pepper lunch and had to withstand the awful smell. & off we went to town! Saw really tempting stuff at f21, H&M and all, but managed to go home empty handed!!! :-) yay im good. Shopping can really be tiring ): cant wait to shop the coming weekends with the boy!!! Met swa for dinner at bbq chicken which was so-so only..... the standard of bbq chicken has downgraded really........ WHYYYYYYY???? I was such a fan last time.

Today - Piano, then shopping with parents for winter clothings (& bugged them to get shorts for me) HEHEHEHE benefits of being a girl. & went over to swa's! slacked, ate chips and watched the korean show Queen in hyun's man. Which the beginning sucks so i dont know why we watched it ARGH. Tried to persuade swa to watch Shinwa broadcast cause its so funny but he would rather sleep, that idiot..... hahahaha. slackish day overall which i really needed. Finally a break from pw, a everlasting goodbye to pw mwacks.

But tmr............... i dont know how to feel. )-: Oh ya before and after OP on mon, erica & debz prayed for us, and it felt really good. Im a free thinker and everything, i dont know how to feel because religion is such a sensitive topic and i dont know which god to believe in. But its a undeniable fact that maybe praying did help our group pass through that hurdle smoothly. & maybe thats what im gonna do tmr morning, or tonight.

RICA LOOKS SUPER HANDSOME HERE.

Pursuit of happyness

Why do i feel that everyone close to me is drifting away from me?
you know the fact that the more lonely you feel, the more lonely you'll be?  (Haha not a fact actually, just some psychology thing that i figured out which works for me.) IT CERTAINLY WORKS NOW.

yeah i feel that. Maybe because ive changed so much i dont even recognise myself. being so materialistic that shopping and food became my first priority and that i put myself first, i stop being nice and start holding grudges, ranting about stuff, being more of a critic than a peace&love kinda human. yeah maybe the problem lies with me.

I used to didnt have to try to make friends, people would automatically make friends with me. Or when i was younger i was really chatty so naturally i opened up to many and everyone became friends with everyone. Now, not only i have to try to make friends, i actually have to try to keep them.

You know the fact that everyone has to have this "best friend"? the one you do everything with, the one you can chat everything under the sun with, the one who knows you inside out, have a love-hate relationship with you cause they see your true self? i want it. its not that i dont have them, its just that i need them. I need them to be with me all the time to feel secure. I guess. OH that was hard to admit.

I thought i was ok being alone, i mean i had been alone in the first few days in AJ, sitting alone in the canteen eating food while listening to my earpiece just to keep up a strong front that i dont need friends (HAHAHA BULLSHIT) then i started making friends, until i had my classmates, but the fact that i dont have my girls from NAS with me, i had to have new "best friends" like a clique or just a group i hang with day & night simply speaking. I think i used to have that, but now things are just complicated. Its not that we had a fight or anything, its just that the ambitious me wanted to be friends with everyone in class that now i dont belong anywhere and its just weird now......... Its like group work, or partner that kinda thing. You know that meme that gives "that face" and the caption "when your teacher says pair up and you look at your best friend with that face" like in pokemon "I CHOOSE YOU" but i dont have that now & its sometimes worrying because i dont wanna be alone or left out.

Its just sad and sad and sad and sad. Or maybe im just pms-ing right now. i dont know what to think. Anyway like swa said, if youre having a bad day or feeling down, just blame it on pms because we have the right to do so.

pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw pw

Saturday went to bukit gombak lihui's house to do pw, it was not bad, but the travelling time just sucks. At least i got to eat mos burger with swa for dinner YAYYYYY mos burger soup!!!! :-) current fav & im super addicted hehehe. 

Sunday piano then swa's place to do pw. Was super frustrated about many things....... keep losing my temper i blame it on my possibly upcoming period. At least i got some work done & all thanks to deb & lihui we got our slides ready for monday!

OP prac again today, im sad we keep having to edit our slides & that our actual OP is the last day when many friends already ended theirs today. sobz. But on the brighter side at least we have more time to improve our slides & practice! RAH officially have no life at all. The worst thing is after OP, promos results gonna be released, hop for the best really. ):

Busy busy week ahead, gonna have our Service learning project to the zoo soon, probably wed or thurs, then piano on wed (if possible) then lihui's party on sat + piano, and many random meetups with instashop buyers or sellers. & not forgetting time to prac pw to perfection i hope. Im becoming more confident i can feel it. Its just the reliance/reference to slides...... I CAN DO IT. Why is public speaking so damn difficult?! & thinking on the spot to answer questions, so hard to achieve an EE (exceeding expectations) the fact that my group members are doing well & other members of other groups too..... is not very encouraging. But im learning from the best & my mistakes. Although i admit its hard for me to accept suggestions/ criticisms cause im so prideful & stubborn & egoistic. so yeah getting upset when i do badly is a norm & yet i shut myself out from bad stuff people say about me, treating their criticisms as motivation instead of genuine advice. What kind of ego maniac am i....... shit im such a freak. 

#nowplaying- Creep