like the moment the examiner says stop writing and you have tons left to write and you carry that burden out of the exam hall knowing the you know the answer but you havent gotten the chance to pen them down.
THAT FUCKING BURDEN. EVERY SINGLE TIME. FUCKING TIMES UP & PUT YOUR PENS DOWN.
you just wanna cuss the whole bloody world, yourself, the school, your teachers your peers. (i sound like a screwed up kid) the whole day you just cant get over yourself. stupid feeling called 'crying over spilt milk' ya thats exactly it.
such a bloody shit head. this was the first time i couldnt work under pressure it was petrifying. my brain was filled with a thousand other alternatives and answers i just kept over thinking & worrying. bloody cannot use correction tape my whole paper was so messy. and then canceling my working, and realised it was possibly right, and rewriting, then canceling all of it cause i realised its wrong. wtf its a viscous cycle. and the worst of all is not following your gut. initially writing this answer a, then fear and doubt and suspicion takes over you and you change it to a b. & you step out of the exam hall, all your friends wrote a. that fucking feeling. wanting to stab yourself in the chest one gazillion times. wanting to try to slash your wrist to numb the pain (i will never do it dont worry guys im a coward)
just wanting the pain to stop. fucking pain of post-exam stress. yes we need a second chance people. but we'll never get it, whats done is done. yes i know i can do better, but what can i do now? Disappointment was formed. Its just so fucking unexplainable this feeling.
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