Today was a good day, studied at Carina's place, we were so disciplined (pat on our backs) and we realized time is really running out. This isn't what I'm supposed to be feeling, unprepared & panicky. But I'm gonna do my best.
Met swa for like less than 30minutes, it's never enough. And it always feels like we talk about only stuff on the surface I hate it that feeling.
Anyway in the bathroom I was looking through glee videos on YouTube, missing Cory Monteith, and I bawled my eyes out hearing the cast sing for/about him. It's weird how I don't even know him but I feel so so sad. I know it's foolish to think that people must live till old age but it's just sad to see people die, just disappear into thin air & you never get to see/hear/feel them anymore. That's why we should really cherish everyone around us, that's what I do. Make the effort to tell your friends you miss them, catch up with old friends to let them know they're not forgotten, buy food for your family, the little things that replace words that are difficult to express.
I've never attended a funeral, so I guess that means my relatives and friends are still well & healthy, that makes my glad. But I do wonder how it feels like sometimes, to lose someone so dear (of course I would not wanna experience it first hand) nonetheless I just wonder.
Crying for people has became a weird habit of mine, cause well, I don't know what to say & though tears are of no help, it's uncontrollable anyway it's just all emotions gushing out at once,the bizzare part of human nature. My classmate's brother, a teacher in my previous school, my mother's student's mum, sometimes I still think about them or get reminded of them. Some I may not know them personally, but seeing the messages left for them or hearing about their contributions & past makes me feel like I actually know them & once there's a relationship built it's like you know them already. You get what I mean?? I hate deaths, and I fear them. I don't get why some people don't, and even seek death. It's such a scary thing. Though it's a life process, it's contradicting that human lives can be created (naturally or through technology) yet human life cannot be resurrected. (With that comes recarnation but I'm not a strong believer of that so I can't say much)
Ok with this I end this meaningless random thought vomit post hahahhaha LOLZ goodnight everyone xx
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