Seeing my friends having a hell loads of fun in MJ just pricks me, i cant help but to feel jealous. Was it because i didnt study hard enough? Could I have did better? Seeing those who were previously worse than me doing so so so much better and surpassing me just escalates to my anxiety. Freak i feel so in my own world but seriously this is just heap loads of disappointment + regret + selfpity piling up.
Mom had a big talk to me last night and asked me why i never express my gratefulness to her. Im speechless. To my friends, swa, i can just that i love them so easily but to my parents i cant seem to find the words. Im really grateful to what they have done for me and my sis, Livia, going to tons of countries, buying costly instruments for me and all.
Deep in thoughts now whether being in AJ will aid me in going towards my dreams (which im still unsure of) but whether i like it or not im here and i need to study hard. Start to embarce everyone around me and be more myself and do whatever i think its right without caring about receiving judgement from others.
So i'll just let pictures sum up what beautiful friends ive made. & I wanna be myself with them and i hope they love me as much as i love them.
No comments:
Post a Comment